“AITA, because I didn’t buy my cousin anything to eat when we went to the beach?”

“AITA, because I didn’t buy my cousin anything to eat when we went to the beach?”

I (F25) took my cousin (F6) and my kids (M4 & F6) to the beach last weekend. I offered to take my cousin because she is about the same age as my kids and they get along great so I thought it would be fun. While we were there we went out to eat. My cousin is extremely picky and every time I buy her food while we are out or cook something she takes a few bites and throws the rest away.

I told her I wasn’t going to buy her any food and that we could share and she could have as much as she wanted. She didn’t like that though because I got my kids their own meals (which they ate all of). We ended up sharing anyway and she took what I thought was a few bites and then said she was full. The rest of the day was fine.

Now, fast forward to when I dropped her off at home. I get a text from my aunt asking why I didn’t buy her own food and that my cousin tells her we shared but my kids didn’t. I explained the situation to her and she told me I could have packed her food to go if she didn’t eat it.

But I don’t see a problem since she did exactly what I expected and she also had other food for the day that we had packed, like snacks and sandwiches. So everything is OK?

EDIT: I let my cousin pick something we both liked.

The commentators had a lot to say in response.

StAlvis wrote:

NTA.

“She took a few bites and then said she was full.”

The child’s needs were met under your supervision. End of story.

“I get a text from my aunt asking why I didn’t buy her my own food.”

Because allowing waste is wrong.

Neither-Candy-545 wrote:

YTA, not because of your actions, but because of the way you spoke to her. She is only 6 and felt left out. She didn’t understand that you were eating with her, she understood that she wasn’t allowed to eat like her cousins.

Kami_Sang wrote:

NTA – I will not waste my money buying you food that I know will go to waste or going home just so you can get your own food. If her mother wants that, she can send the money for that.

thecalm01 wrote:

Thank you for the way you handled it. You made her feel excluded and “less than” instead of giving them all a meal and then eating her “leftovers” herself.

Glassear_8049 wrote:

YTA. You don’t buy food for two children and not for another.

ModernZombies wrote:

YTA, she’s a kid, just get her the $10 kids meal. If it’s a money thing, then ask her parents for money for food up front. Who cares if she eats it, bag it up and send it home to her. Whether she eats it or not, it all costs the same. Or as others have said, “Eat her leftovers instead” as your food.

Snowcat Table wrote:

Unfortunately, a six-year-old does not understand the reasons for this. He only sees that he is different and separates himself from everyone else.

Next time, order food for all three kids, and what she doesn’t eat is your lunch since you shared your lunch with her.

Subscribe wrote:

NTA. The cousin is full and chose her food, she just had to share it. The easiest thing would have been to reinterpret what you did – eating together – so that she couldn’t complain – she was allowed to choose her own food and you ate her leftovers. Same procedure, different result.

KLG999 wrote:

YTA. You have excluded her from your children and treated her differently. Just from your description, it sounds like some sort of punishment for not eating the way you expect her to. Most people who agree with you have also taken the tone that she is somehow misbehaving and deserves the treatment you are giving her.

JohnRedCornMassage wrote:

NTA. You should edit your post and add that you let your cousin pick the shared meal (chicken tenders and fries). If you hadn’t let her pick, you would have been the best, but you’re good. Personally, I can’t stand when someone constantly orders too much food and ends up throwing tons away, especially when I’m paying.

Subscribe wrote:

NTA – while it would have been nice if she had been “included”, the post implies that you have been more than willing to buy her food in the past, but she either doesn’t eat it and/or throws it away.

If the mother knows she is a picky eater, it is best for her to pack a prepared meal for the trip. This is how my family has made such trips when they knew there would be food I couldn’t (or didn’t want to) eat.

sabine_schoen wrote:

I think you worded it wrong. You should say that you didn’t get a meal and just ate her leftovers.

Subscribe wrote:

NTA – as long as you made sure she was able to eat enough so that she wasn’t hungry, everything is fine.

OP replied:

She ate lots of other snacks throughout the day and we all got some ice cream before we headed home.