If a sandwich was named after you, what would be on it?
A salad roll from a country bakery. It has to be a country bakery. It makes me angry what has happened to bakeries in the inner cities. So a classic country bakery, which was also my first job: It has cakes, it has salad rolls, but it also has cakes and fresh bread. These are the best things in the whole world.
It has to be made fresh on a white bun – no tomatoes, that would make it too mushy, but onions, carrots, maybe even beetroot, and sometimes maybe chicken… also some mustard seed and cheese. But I mean, that’s the thing: The Celia, it’s Choose Your Own Adventure, because it’s no longer my favorite sandwich when it’s pre-made. So it can be whatever you want, but it has to be made fresh in front of you in a country bakery, with way too much butter on it. They always put too much butter on it.
Who is the most famous person on your phone?
Luke McGregor is my best friend and I’m the one who texts me as a celebrity to make videos for other people. Sam Pang is another one. He’s helped me out a lot because – this is a secret about Sam Pang – he acts like a complete idiot but he can actually be a really nice guy. I’ve known him for a long time and I love him very much. He’s helped me out of a lot of awkward situations – like when I was stuck at a wedding where I didn’t know anyone and people who were always huge fans of Sam came up to me and I was like, “Let’s call him! Let’s text him! Let’s make a video of Sam!” And I texted him like, “Dude, can’t you just text me something so I can have a conversation?”
What was the most chaotic thing that happened during the recording of “Thank God You’re Here”?
I would say the most chaotic thing that happened last season was just Ross Noble. He’s incredible – you know, the ensemble did such a great job in that scene… One of them can’t laugh, that would be so hard, they have to be really close. They’re the eye of the storm – the funny tornado – and they can’t laugh. But Ross is also just… how can I describe him? Like a tropical fish, just jumping around.
Who would you cast as yourself in the film about your life?
Ooh. Two things. The coolest person in the world is Claudia Karvan, who I love so much. That would be cool – and she’s Australian and a very good actor. But then people told me that I look a lot like Kelly MacDonald, the Scottish actress from Trainspotting, and she’s also very cool, so maybe her.
I was also often mistaken for Kate Box. It even got to the point where I was cast as her sister in an episode of Rake just because I met the writer who said, “You look so much like Kate, this will be fun.”
One time – and this is a very rare occurrence – a fan sent me a package with a bunch of photos of me, asking me to sign them and send them back. And in that package was one of the photos of Kate Box. A mistake, to be honest.
Which animal do you most identify with?
My favorite animal is the otter. I just love them. They’re so cute, they float around, hold hands, and lay on their backs a lot. But I’d say the squirrel, because I actually like getting things from a place, especially food, bringing it home, and eating it in the dark. I like doing squirrel things. I like having something out in the world, but I don’t really enjoy it unless I bring it home and have it in my house.
Have you ever had an embarrassing confrontation with a celebrity?
All the time. Not on a grand scale, it’s just embarrassing.
I had one with Courtney Act. I think I met her at a Halloween party in LA. Luke and I were there for a very short time and I was maybe a little bit – what do you call it, “tired and emotional” – and I was like, “Oh my God, I’m such a fan. Blah, blah, blah, blah!” And I saw the terror in her eyes and I tried to kind of cover it up with something like, “No, it’s OK! I’m Australian!”
Do you have any party tricks?
I used to be able to cry on command. But the party mood isn’t quite right anymore.
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I guess my party trick is that I’m really good at agreeing with people. I really try not to sow discord. I feel like I’m a good guest. I’m a very paranoid guest and I want to make sure I don’t go too far. I try really hard not to, I don’t know, pee on the floor.
Which app do you think you should delete from your phone?
I don’t know, but a blue one. This is a real luxury problem, but too many of my apps are blue. I’m confused.
Oh, there’s one more I should delete, the burp and fart piano. I refuse to get rid of it because you never know when you’re going to need it.
What is the weirdest thing you currently have in your fridge?
My partner just cleaned out the fridge and I know this because he said, “Hey, do you want cream cheese?” and then came over and showed me a live mold monster.
Let me check. (Opens the fridge) Why do we have – we have three different jars of capers. I think the last time we had capers was before we moved in. Three jars. They’re all open.
What is your most controversial opinion?
I think croissants are overrated. I’m going to work on a stand-up show about it at some point. Do you think that’s a shocking opinion?
I do.
Big croissants are in every cafe in Australia – at least in Melbourne. If you go to a cafe, they’ll have banana bread and croissants as standard and then maybe something else weird like a fruit pastry. It’s annoying because there’s never anything in between, they’re all too bad. Banana bread is cake and a croissant is – well, it’s sticky and oily and I wish it wasn’t the standard.
I’m not trying to steal the hands of people who want croissants. Go ahead. But mix it up, add something else. What is that thing? I don’t know.
