Is it ever okay to re-gift a gift?

Most of us probably do it now and again, especially when we’re pressed for time or invited to an event at short notice: we pass on something we were once given as a gift of our own. More than once, to avoid turning up empty-handed, I’ve grabbed a bottle of wine or an unused candle as a hostess gift. But just because we’ve done something once or twice doesn’t necessarily mean it will go down well in polite company. So we asked our readers: Is it ever OK to re-gift a gift?

Breathe easy, regifters. The overwhelming majority of respondents agreed that it’s perfectly acceptable. However, our etiquette-conscious audience points out that there are a few things to consider before regifting, including the cardinal rule of regifting: Remember who gave you the item so you don’t accidentally give it to someone else.

Southern Living reader Susan H.

If it’s a good item and you can’t use it, give it to someone who would appreciate it. To me, re-gifting doesn’t mean you didn’t appreciate the original giver or their generosity.

— Southern Living reader Susan H.

Remember the original donor

This is the most important rule of regifting for good reason: It’s hurtful to the giver. You’re essentially returning the gift, which could give the impression that you didn’t appreciate the giver’s thoughtfulness (even if you did) and, perhaps more annoyingly, that you didn’t reciprocate the giver’s thoughtfulness with your own efforts. Also, keep in mind that you shouldn’t just be thinking about the original giver. Minimize the risk of hurt feelings by avoiding regifting within the same social circles. For example, if you pass on a coffee mug that you got from your coworker, don’t give it to another coworker. That’s just asking for trouble.

Reserve gifts for small gestures

Special occasions are not the time for re-gifting, which should be celebrated with more thoughtful, personal gestures. Instead, save re-gifting for smaller gestures, like a day-brightening Happy/Surcie for a neighbor or a simple dinner party favor. “I would just give it to someone who needs it or would appreciate it, not as a gift for a special occasion like a birthday, Christmas, wedding, or graduation. For those occasions, I want to cover the cost myself,” writes one reader.

Spring for new packaging

Whatever the item, shake off the dust of regifting by presenting it in fresh packaging. Revive a recycled wine bottle with a pretty bow or a vase of greenery straight from the garden. By investing a little time in presentation, you’ll add a special touch that your recipient will notice and appreciate.

Photo: Laurey W. Glenn

Know your audience

Re-gifting can be a helpful shortcut, but you should still be cautious when giving gifts. Think about the new recipient. Don’t give a bottle of hot sauce to someone you know doesn’t like spicy things, or a sweet-smelling candle to someone you know loves something woodier and fresher. The lack of consideration is far more insulting than the re-gifting itself.

Sometimes it’s okay to be open

In certain situations, it’s perfectly fine to admit that something has been regifted. For example, if you’re not a big tea lover but your friend is, you can pass on a gifted teapot and say something like, “Someone gave me this and I’m not a big tea drinker, but I know you are and thought you might like it.” That way, there’s no underhanded maneuvering and your friend now has something to appreciate, plus the good feeling that you thought of it.