Birthday parties are meant to be fun, but not when conflicting expectations get in the way.
When a man’s girlfriend suggests postponing a beloved brunch with his aunt, he is torn between love and loyalty.
Read on to find out what happens next!
It was my birthday last Sunday (23, mother). One of the ways I celebrated was by meeting my aunt (45, woman) for brunch.
My aunt and I have the same birthday and have always spent at least part of the day together.
It’s a tradition that’s really important to both of us.
A few weeks ago my girlfriend (23, female) said she wanted to throw a birthday party for me, especially since we now have enough money for something like that.
He tried to communicate clear expectations to his girlfriend early on.
I said that would be great, but probably couldn’t happen on my birthday since I’m meeting my aunt for brunch and have to be at work early the next day, so an evening party would have to end early too.
We then had a long discussion that ended in an argument about whether or not there should be any celebration at all on that day.
It became clear that she wanted me to postpone brunch, and that was my motto.
He told more about what makes this tradition so special to him.
I told her that spending time with my aunt on our birthday was more important to me than spending time with anyone else (one reason she spent the birthday that day was because some friends would be in town that day, but not the following weekend).
One of the reasons I explained to her was that my aunt was a twin and her twin died when they were both teenagers.
Her birthday was hard for her, and when I was unexpectedly born on the same day (I was premature), it made the day easier for her to cope with.
She never imposed this on me as a child, but when I grew up she told me how grateful she was that we were “birthday friends” and that it felt like a blessing.
My aunt is a wonderful woman and I always loved sharing our birthday with her. I was even happier when she told me all this.
The girlfriend did not react well to his emotional story.
When I told my girlfriend all this, her first reaction was that it was “crazy that your aunt is using you as an emotional crutch and that you are a grown man who can make his own plans.”
I think my feelings were obvious because she tried to take back her statement or downplay it or whatever, but I didn’t let her.
I told her that there was no need for her to throw me a birthday party.
He decided that if she didn’t support him, she wouldn’t be involved at all.
In the end, I had brunch with just my aunt as planned and then my parents had a barbecue with most of our family.
I didn’t invite my girlfriend.
His family speaks out.
When I explained the reason, my family was divided.
They all agreed that what she had said was neither nice nor true, but some thought it was also not nice to exclude her from my birthday, even though it had obviously meant a lot to her.
Now the couple is not sure what to do next.
She and I have spent time together both before and after my birthday, and there is some tension.
Part of me wants to address it, but I also don’t feel guilty about what I did, so I don’t know if addressing it would do much good.
Is this possible?
It seems like this couple is at a stalemate.
What did Reddit have to say?
His girlfriend is right, but not in the way she thinks.
He should not excuse this manipulative behavior.
There could be deeper feelings at play here.
It sounds like everyone is hurting and it’s time to talk about it.
He chose to prioritize a warm tradition with his aunt, which caused tension in his relationship.
I guess he’ll have to deal with the consequences.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws free accommodation in exchange for babysitting. However, things changed when they didn’t keep their end of the bargain.
