DEAR ABBY: My sister has a screeching bird that she insists on keeping near the dinner table when she invites guests over for dinner. Its deafening screeching prevents guests from having a normal conversation. So I asked her if she could please move the bird to another room during dinner in the future. She replied that the bird was a family member. I said, “They are children too, but they must not run around the dinner table screeching when we have guests over.”
When we returned for dinner this year, she pulled the bird and its cage even closer to the table and to the person sitting next to her than she had done the last time. She apparently decided that the well-being of her guests was not as important as her proximity to the bird.
I don’t know how to handle this in the future if she ignores my feedback. Aside from the screeching, it’s not particularly appealing to have a bird cage next to a dining table or the host constantly being distracted and interrupting conversations. What advice do you give her? — NERVOUSNESS IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR NERVE-WARNING: Since your advice was obviously not appreciated, the next time you are invited to a dinner party at your sister’s house, feel free to say you are busy. The only thing on the table should be a nice roast chicken or stuffed turkey.
DEAR ABBY: I get my car cleaned at a car wash near the beach. When I took it there, I forgot to take out the change I keep for parking meters and washing machines. When I got my car back, about eight dollars in quarters and dollar coins were missing. Tens, fives, and one cents were left behind. The next day, I emailed the owner.
The owner called me, apologized, and refunded me the full price of the car detail. I told him the refund was not necessary and I just wanted to let him know what happened. Because I used the word “steal” in my email, he was offended. I responded on the phone that the money would be gone after I got my car back. He said he wished me well, and I replied, “Are you saying you don’t want to do business with me anymore?”
Now I feel bad. I did nothing wrong and was just trying to bring to his attention a problem with his employees. As the saying goes, “No good deed goes unpunished.” What do I do now or should I have done it differently? — SUFFERING BECAUSE I TRIED TO HELP
DEAR SUFFERERS: Don’t let one bad apple spoil the whole basket. Of course, you should have informed the owner of the business about the incident. He did his best to make things right by refunding you the price of the car wash for your $8 loss.
If the conversation with him was polite, he probably wants you to continue doing business with him. The next time you go to see him, try to smooth things over. In the future, remember to take your valuables out of the car when you leave.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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