I now know that I am the main reason for my success, but I am far from the only reason. My mentors, friends and family have been key.
Tennessee Voices: A conversation with Pamela Madison
Pamela Madison, CEO of Monroe Harding, spoke with David Plazas, opinion and engagement director at the Tennessee Institute.
Nashville Tennessee
Ten years ago, I sat alone in a juvenile detention center in East Tennessee, wondering if I would get home in time to start high school.
I wouldn’t do it.
I never made it home. I ended up in state custody and spent years in juvenile detention and foster care. Eventually, I turned 18 and lived in a group home in Nashville and left the system on my own.
And yet, this year I completed my Masters in Social Work at Columbia University. And I am no longer alone.
I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and on the surface I’ve been really successful in my journey. But the truth is that the road to get here has been uncertain and dangerous. When I look back on the last decade, I don’t see an inspiring Monday.
Hard work alone wasn’t enough to get from foster care to the Ivy League
Instead, I experience long periods of struggle, fear, and frustration, interspersed with short periods of triumph. From the moment I entered state care until I graduated from an Ivy League university, I was mostly preoccupied with navigating one crisis, preparing for the next, and dealing with undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
I went through a lot as a child, and when I became a ward of the state, it got even tougher. I had a patchy and subpar education and no idea what stability meant. So when I turned 18, I didn’t feel ready to stand on my own two feet, let alone go to college. I had the will and determination to build a better life for myself, but no experience in doing so and no plan to follow. I felt lost, and the usual paths to success seemed out of reach for someone who had had as hard a life as I had. My intelligence and work ethic alone weren’t enough to give me the access to a better life I had hoped for.
Fortunately, there were many good people who cared about me and whose job it was to help me succeed. People like my LifeSet specialist from Youth Villages, who worked with me every day to overcome obstacles and helped me with things like college enrollment paperwork, mental health counseling, and financial aid. And the folks at Monroe Harding, a nonprofit in Nashville, provided me with an affordable, safe place to live. Over time, I saw progress. After two years at Nashville State Community College, I transferred to Vanderbilt University.
But we didn’t just stop at everyday tasks.
My specialist helped me develop plans that went beyond what I thought was reasonable or even possible at the time. For example, he encouraged me to apply to Ivy League universities even though I thought I had no chance.
Jelly Roll opens songwriting studio at the Davidson Country Juvenile Correctional Center
They stayed there even when things got difficult again.
With the support of Youth Villages, I was able to continue going to school and realize my dreams
During my final semester at Vanderbilt University, I was hit by a drunk driver and totaled my car.
Thankfully, I was physically unharmed, but my car was more than my mode of transportation. I was driving for rideshare apps to pay my bills, and thus lost my source of income. At the time, I was so busy finishing school and preparing for graduate school that I didn’t have time to look for a new job.
The difference between dropping out and sticking with it was the time I spent with my specialist each week. She helped me keep up with each new requirement, like filing a car insurance claim, or sat with me when I cried. Her team even put me in touch with an anonymous donor who paid my tuition to Columbia. That last semester, with her help, I earned a 4.0.
I now know that I am the main reason for my success, but I am far from the only reason. My mentors, friends and family couldn’t study for me or take exams for me, but their support ensured that I was mentally and financially able to focus on my personal growth and academic success.
And while I love being a positive example, it’s important to recognize the support everyone needs to succeed, especially those who don’t have the privilege of a loving and supportive family. Because thinking beyond the day-to-day and setting long-term goals is unfortunately a luxury, but one I hope more people can afford. And the only way they can do that is through more people having the means and ability to provide mentorship and support the programs that help us get there.
Tristan Slough holds a bachelor’s degree in cognitive science from Vanderbilt University and a master’s degree in social work from Columbia University. He is currently using his personal experiences in juvenile justice and foster care to create positive change in the criminal justice system as the Student Resource Coordinator at the Tennessee Higher Education Initiative.
