Lynn Schmidt
It is often said that respect is a two-way street. As America finds itself in the midst of a period of cultural upheaval, where norms no longer seem to apply and new rules are about to take hold, deference is needed more than ever.
In recent weeks, the following headlines have graced the pages of this newspaper: “Protesters protest against transgender woman at Ellisville gym. Missouri Attorney General launches investigation,” “Transgender woman’s use of Ellisville gym locker room sparks outcry from conservatives,” and “Ellisville gym revokes transgender woman’s membership over her online comments.”
The reports said Life Time Fitness Center in Ellisville revoked the membership of Eris Montano, a transgender woman born male, because Montano made unspecified online posts that were perceived as threatening. The incident sparked protests and counter-protests and was accompanied by a policy change from the Missouri Department of Revenue that tightens the rules for changing gender on a driver’s license.
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Although Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey has launched an investigation, it does not appear that Montano broke any laws by using the women’s locker room. The gym’s policy states that members must declare the gender shown on their driver’s license. Montano’s license states that she is female and therefore should use the women’s locker room.
I had an experience with these problems a few months ago in the ladies’ changing room of a local leisure complex.
After finishing a water aerobics class, I took a quick shower and went to my locker to get dressed. While I was still sleeping in my towel, I heard a commotion outside the locker room door.
I was able to hear enough of the conversation to understand that a gym employee was trying to stop someone from entering the women’s locker room. The person said she was female and was meeting another woman who was in the room.
The person entered the dressing room, met up with his acquaintance, and sat down near where I was changing. This person identified as female, but was obviously biologically male.
I immediately felt uncomfortable, grabbed my things and changed in a bathroom stall.
I wasn’t alone in the women’s locker room. There were other women from my class and young girls with their mothers.
Personally, the whole situation made me angry and uncomfortable. But despite the ongoing culture war narratives, I was not outraged.
I only wish the person had extended the same courtesy to me and the other women and girls in the locker room that he demanded. The situation could have easily been avoided if the person had simply waited for his companion just outside the locker room door or in the foyer.
Just because the people involved in these controversies didn’t technically break gym rules doesn’t mean it’s right.
This is not to say that transgender people shouldn’t have the same freedoms as everyone else, but the other women and girls in the gym also have the right not to be literally exposed to biological men or to be allowed to change in an area where there are no biological men.
The late Harvard political scientist Samuel P. Huntington noted that societies experience periodic moral upheavals about every 60 years, and he predicted that America was ripe for one right now.
In his book “A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World Will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders,” Mark Sayers also describes our current social transition phase as a “gray area.”
Sayers borrowed the term “gray zone” from research into 21st century warfare, when the rules of combat were still unclear. He writes, “A gray zone is confusing and contradictory, full of change and conflict. Everything seems to be in limbo.” Sayers goes on to say that we are left wondering how to lead in a time when the rules seem to have changed and cultural assumptions are shifting.
Old cultural assumptions about gender have definitely been shattered. This moment in our history requires Americans to think with distinction and act with dignity—both of which we are not doing particularly well right now—while we wait for leaders to lead us through to the other side.
Ultimately, our institutions, such as the market or government agencies, will take the lead in such situations. The tax office has already reacted by requiring either a court order or medical proof of complete gender reassignment in order to be able to change the gender recorded on the driver’s license.
No matter what locker room we enter while we wait for new, agreed-upon gender rules, we should always strive to treat each other with basic respect.
Schmidt is a columnist for the Post-Dispatch and a member of the editorial board. [email protected].
