Gordon Ramsay was not in the delivery room when his four older children were born

Tana Ramsay talks about a “very controversial” decision her husband Gordon Ramsay made during her pregnancies.

Gordon, 57, and Tana, 50, have six children together – Megan, 26, twins Jack and Holly, 24, Matilda “Tilly”, 22, Oscar, 5, and Jesse, 9 months. Tana revealed that Gordon was not in the delivery room when the four eldest were born – and she is “happy” with her decision.

During an episode of the Happy mom, happy baby In the podcast, she said it just felt right to have Gordon out.

“He would have gotten all squeamish and probably fainted and all the attention would have been on him and that’s my moment,” Tana told presenter Giovanna Fletcher. “It never really bothered me and I was actually quite happy when we talked about it.”

She remembers their conversation about the decision: “I said, ‘Listen, if you don’t want to be in this, then don’t do it.'”

Tana said her mother was in the room during labor instead.

While he was absent from the first four births, Gordon was there when Tana gave birth to her two youngest children, Oscar and Jesse.

“I don’t know what changed. He just wanted to be there. I had a feeling it would be nice,” she said on Happy mom, happy baby.

In 2016, Tana suffered a 20-week miscarriage of their son, whom they named Rocky. The loss may have influenced Gordon’s decision to be in the delivery room with Oscar and Jesse.

“I think it was after what we went through with the loss of our little boy Rocky,” Tana added.

In his September PEOPLE cover story, Ramsay spoke about her grief, but also about how strong the family is today.

“We wouldn’t have had Oscar if we hadn’t lost Rocky,” he said at the time. “There was no replacement – quite the opposite – but it brought us a bond that you would never experience in a normal situation.”

The couple underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF) for all of their pregnancies, except for Tilly, who Tana said was their only “surprise.”

In May, Gordon spoke to PEOPLE about how he and Tana are “better” parents later in life than they were at the beginning.

“I think I’m a better dad this time around, if I’m honest,” Ramsay told PEOPLE. “I know I’m better because I have more experience now, and I think we’ve done a good job with the front four so far.”

“And the second part of the family, the other two little ones, I think are in a great position because they are being taught much earlier than their bigger, older siblings and are fascinated by their careers.”