Sleepovers are a lot of fun for kids and are a great activity as long as adults are mindful of their safety and watch over them reasonably well.
What happens if a parent criticizes the activities you allow, even though they did not object beforehand?
That’s exactly what this mother is struggling with, and she wants to make sure she’s not in the wrong for not taking the blame.
Listen.
My (41f) daughter (15) had a pajama party with four of her friends a few days ago.
From what I could observe, the girls had a lot of fun together and were all very respectful to each other, my husband and me.
If she had a list of restrictions, she should have sent it before the pajama party.
Most of the girls’ parents thanked me and my husband for their hospitality and were positive, but one texted me a list of all the things I had done wrong.
The first thing that upset this mother was the fact that my daughter and her friends were swimming in our backyard pool.
When the pajama party invitations were sent out via text message, I asked the mothers if they were okay with their daughters going swimming.
Everyone said “yes” or “okay” except for the nagging mom who simply liked my text.
I assumed that meant “yes.”
They really did everything humanly possible to ensure the safety of the children.
I would not have allowed this if the girls were not required to complete a swimming safety unit (with a swimming test at the end) as part of their physical education class.
In addition, my husband completed a lifeguard course with the Red Cross and passed with flying colors.
The mother’s second problem was the girls’ diet, which she considered unhealthy.
However, I didn’t see any problem with this because I think it’s okay to eat junk food during sleepovers.
The next topic was the movie the girls watched after dinner.
A very sensible restriction.
Since some of the girls are 14 and others are 15, we have told them not to show R-rated films, but otherwise it is up to them.
They finally settled on “The Fault in Our Stars”, which the complainant considered inappropriate.
And finally, she was also annoyed that the girls didn’t go to sleep until midnight.
As a mother myself, I understand this because I want my daughter to get enough sleep.
However, my husband and I both believe that it’s okay to stay up late at sleepovers, provided the kids let the parents sleep (which is what my daughter and her friends did).
Also, the girls woke up at 8:30 am, which meant they had slept for about 8 1/2 hours.
The day after the pajama party, I received a text message from my complaining mother.
The text read: “Thank you for taking in my daughter. It was generous of you to open your home and kindly host her. However, I find that many of your decisions were questionable and inappropriate.”
She then listed her objections and explained each one.
A very polite answer.
I then replied, “Please tell your daughter you came! It was a pleasure hosting her. I understand your concerns, but since you never communicated your expectations or rules, I don’t think it’s fair to blame me. If we ever do something like this again in the future, please let me know in advance of any restrictions. Thank you and have a great weekend!”
She then angrily replied that it was my fault and when I texted her to apologize, she didn’t respond.
Is this possible?
Given all these rules, the young lady simply should not be allowed to go to pajama parties.
Check out some of the best comments for more insight.
To me it sounded like a normal pajama party.
These rules would have been unreasonable.
My mother’s answer was really kind.
Maybe it was your daughter’s first pajama party?
Yes, unfortunately it is the daughter who will suffer.
Come on, mom, your daughter is 15, not 7!
Let her live a little longer.
If you liked this story, read this one about a mother who was forced to bring her three children to apply for government benefits but eventually got the job of her dreams.
