As the 98th acupuncture needle is inserted into my face, I begin to question my career choice. For research purposes (and, okay, a little bit of vanity), I undergo the Acuskinlift treatment, a “natural facelift” (see below).
Reader, I look like the Hellraiser type and feel like a pincushion. But to be clear, it’s not the most painful thing I’ve ever endured. I’ve suffered freezing, suctioning, steaming, and peeling – all so you don’t have to suffer or pay for a substandard beauty treatment.
Pain is subjective. Some people walk away from the treatments I’ve tried and feel nothing. For comparison, I’m in the middle on the wimp scale, but to be completely honest, I once (unintentionally) bit my orthodontist when he hit a nerve.
CoolSculpting
Good for Stubborn fat deposits.
What is that? Two Harvard doctors discovered that when cooled in a controlled manner, some fat cells die and are eliminated from the body as a waste product. This led to the development of CoolSculpting, which promises 20 to 24 percent fat loss in the treated areas.
What is happening? A suction cup the size of a margarine container is placed on my stomach and flanks. My flesh is cooled to almost freezing point and after 20 minutes the suction cup is removed, leaving my skin looking like a stick of butter. Then it is massaged back to normal.
Pain 5/5 When the suction cup is in place, there is a slight, uncomfortable pulling sensation, and after removal, the pain is severe for about five minutes. I feel sick and have to hold my beautician’s hand. I also have a few bruises.
Is it worth it? Yes, my love handles have shrunk and my stomach is flatter (although supermodel Linda Evangelista claimed that this caused her fat to expand and harden).
Where I went Cosmetic Skin Clinic, 98 Harley Street, London W1; cosmeticskinclinic.com, from £800 for a session.
The prick test: Rosie tries Acuskinlift
Cosmetic acupuncture
Good for A toxin-free method for facial tightening and rejuvenation.
What is that? Acuskinlift, described as a “natural facelift,” was developed by Dr. John Tsagaris and uses acupuncture needles to stimulate and “reorganize” collagen and elastin fibers.
What is happening? After inserting over 100 needles into my face, Tsagaris rotates them to stimulate the skin into repair mode, giving it volume and glow. He then performs mesotherapy, which infuses hydrating, rejuvenating serums deep into the dermis. The redness is gone within an hour, but I have a few bruises.
Pain 3.5/5 Inserting the needles is a little uncomfortable, turning them is a little uncomfortable and removing them hurts. Mesotherapy is painless.
Is it worth it? I’m all for Botox, but if you want to keep it natural, this is a good alternative.
Where I went Dr John Tsagaris at HVN, 57-63 Knightsbridge, London SW1; £450 for one session.
Skin booster
Good for Firming, gives the skin a new shine.
What are you? Hyaluronic acid (Profhilo or Belotero are the best known brands) is injected into the problem area in several places and spreads under the skin without altering the contours of your face, as would be the case with traditional fillers.
What is happening? I get ten injections in my face and the same amount again in my neck.
Pain 3/5 The needle scratches, the liquid burns, and then red bumps form at the injection sites for a few hours, looking as if you had been attacked by bees.
Is it worth it? This reduces wrinkles and sagging skin – I would suffer more for these visible results!
Where I went Dr Vicky Dondos at Medicetics, 37 Connaught Street, London W2; medicetics.com, £350 for one session.
Ultherapy
Good for Tightening and lifting of the face.
What is that? A handheld device in the clinic sends intense ultrasound energy into the skin to cause thermal injury, which contracts the tissue to create firmness and stimulates the production of new collagen to tighten and shape.
What is happening? The area you choose (in my case it was my face and neck) is divided into a grid and the machine slowly works on it with hundreds of “zaps”.
Pain 4/5 Each shock is bearable, but the repetition is tiring and increases in intensity until you have to ask for a “breather”! I’ve been through this a few times, so I take a painkiller beforehand and ask for a Valium.
Is it worth it? Yes, something like that. You can see a pleasant but subtle rejuvenation.
Where I went Cosmetic Skin Clinic, 98 Harley Street, London W1; cosmeticskinclinic.com, from £2,000 for a session.
Laser hair removal
Good for Stubble-free skin
What is that? Alma Soprano Titanium Pro is a handheld device that passes heat through the hair to inactivate the hair follicles. You can use it at home or with more powerful devices in the clinic that are suitable for all skin tones. I had six sessions for my underarms.
What is happening? Most devices only treat one area of skin at a time, while Alma glides back and forth over the area and the heat gradually increases.
Pain 2/5 It’s mostly painless, warm, and once or twice per session incredibly hot. I only have to shout “please stop” once.
Is it worth it? Absolutely. It’s a joy not having to shave my armpits.
Where I went The PHI Clinic, 102 Harley Street, London W1; from £660 for 6-10 underarm treatments.
Send your questions about the beauty clinic to [email protected], with the subject ASK ROSIE
Antoni Bernad/Blaublut-Edition.com
