By Steve Roush
HCP columnist
Ladies and gentlemen, a good doctor once wrote: “How could it have become so late so quickly?”
I really don’t want to write this. Not now. It feels like I just did this for my father. It just feels too soon.
I want to apologize in advance to my mother. I am sure that I cannot write what I feel in my heart about you. And if you, dear reader, take a few minutes to read this, I sincerely thank you.
My mother, Judith Anne “Judy” Roush, celebrated her 82nd birthday this month. On Saturday, August 10th, to be precise. Exactly one week before, her siblings came and celebrated her birthday. On her birthday, we celebrated her birthday. At these celebrations there were cards, flowers, balloons, a cake and a homemade pie. And there was love.
As the days went by, she received one or two birthday cards and I remember telling her, “Mom, your birthday keeps going.”
She smiled and said, “I know.” There was one particular card that she was so happy to show me and told me to take home. I started to read the card to her but couldn’t finish it because I started to cry. (To the author: I will thank you the next time I see you.)
Five days after her birthday, I got a call early in the morning. I knew that call was coming, but I didn’t expect it that day. She had died.
The last six months have been like the movie Groundhog Day for me, but the days have gotten worse and worse in terms of my mother’s health. I hate cancer. It took my father and slowly it took my mother too. But I have never seen such a positive and optimistic person.
While battling the insidious disease, she fought hard and with a smile on her face. She testified to the people who cared for her, I saw it first hand. Anyone who knew my mother knows how sweet and loving she is. She was an educator who taught and influenced so many young children over the years. I have spoken to several of her former students or the parents of her former students who told me what a difference she made or that she was their favorite teacher. One of her school principals, when she learned of her mother’s death, said that her mother could teach a child to think, never lost a minute of learning time and that respect was at the top of the list in her classroom.
She loved her family and friends. Two days after Mom’s birthday, my brother Eric texted her telling her how thankful he was that God blessed us with such loving parents and that she had always been the biggest fan of all her children and family and that our support and encouragement had made us who we are today.
It’s true. Over 12 years ago, I suddenly lost my job. The very next morning, my mother got in her car, drove into town and demanded an explanation. What she heard didn’t impress her. But it turned out to be one of (if not the) greatest blessing I’ve ever had in all my years.
Not long after, I took a job that I still hold today that allows me to “work from home.” I put that in quotes because I often do that from my office in my parent’s house, the house I grew up in. The house my great, great, great grandfather, Joshua Brown (1807-1867) built. The farm is an Ohio Sesquicentennial Farm. (And that’s our history lesson of the day.) But more importantly, it allowed me to spend day after day, month after month, year after year with my parents. It allowed us to become very close and friends. For that, thank you very much, Jim Thompson.
Mom loved her parents. When her father, Howard Robson, died in 1994, Mom told me that her grandfather had told her, “Don’t be sad, Judy, you’ll see me again in no time.”
This blinking happened five days after my mother’s birthday.
She loved her family. When her father, Wesley Kenneth “Ken” Roush, passed away on September 16, 2020 at the age of 78, she wrote the following in her notebook: “You said you would love me to the end. The end has come and you are gone. Yet in my heart there is no end. You have gone to a special place that no one can touch. You are close and I can feel your precious presence. We were one and that cannot be separated. Together we are strong. You will always be with me because love has no end.”
I found those precious words and this Christmas my siblings Eric, Sheila, Grant and Kristen and I had a special necklace made with the words “Love Never Ends” in her handwriting. She loved this gift and wore it around her neck along with Dad’s wedding ring for a long time until she lost the necklace and ring at Kroger some time ago. Thankfully someone found the necklace and ring and Mom got them both back. To whoever dropped them off, my warmest and most sincere thanks go to you. If you are reading this please contact me, I would love to know who you are. After that she wore the necklace but put the wedding ring away.
What she loved most was God.
After the call I received five days after Mom’s birthday, I drove there like I did every day for a while, and when I got there, Mom looked so peaceful. I sat next to her, like I had done countless times before. As I sat there quietly, I noticed a window was open, a breeze was blowing, and the “Happy Birthday” balloons were waving gently in the wind. The cards were still lined up and the flowers were still blooming.
I saw her Bible lying next to her bed. I opened it and found a card on which she had written, “Heavenly Father, I thank you for the victory I have in you. You are my refuge, my strength, and my reward. Everything I need is in you.”
Amen. The best birthday present anyone can get.
I would bet that I have said “I love you” more times in the last six months than in any other period of my life. Another gift from my mother. I encourage you to follow her advice. Tell the people you love that you love them, and tell them often. You won’t regret it. I certainly don’t.
While looking through some things, I came across something I had given my mom on May 6, 1983, when I was still in elementary school. It said, “Dear Mom, hello! Thank you for being my mom. I love you very much. To show you how much I love you, just read this book! Love, Stephen Roush.” Inside the “book” were two coupons. One said, “Judy can kiss Stephen,” with an asterisk that the offer expires June 1. The other said that my mom can tell me not to yell at Eric…that coupon expired after Mother’s Day. (Sorry, Eric!)
I love you so much, Mom. Happy birthday and say hi to Dad and our grandparents. I’m sure this is your best birthday ever. I’ll be back in a jiffy.
Steve Roush is president of the Highland County Historical Society and has served two terms as chair and vice chair of the HCHS Board of Trustees, a board member of the Highland District Hospital Foundation, a vice president of an international media company, and a columnist and guest writer for The Highland County Press. He can be reached by email at [email protected].
The photo shows Ken and Judy Roush.
