We all have memories from the past that make us shudder – be it a rebellious teenage phase, a questionable fashion choice or a hairstyle we would rather forget.
But instead of pushing them to the back of our minds, the Blunder Years subreddit encourages people to proudly share their most embarrassing childhood photos, turning old regrets into moments we can all enjoy together.
At Bored PandaWe love celebrating these nostalgic missteps, so we’ve rounded up the best ‘mishap years’ photos of all time from those we’ve featured previously. Keep scrolling to see them all, and don’t miss our chat with clinical psychologist Dr. Charlotte Russell, who explains how embarrassing situations can shape our identities.
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If you’re an adult now and grew up before the internet was full of tips on how to dress, get the perfect hairstyle, and look your best, you probably went through a rough patch. I certainly did. At 14, I decided to cut my hair short because I thought it would make me look like one of my favorite singers. Instead, I got a haircut that earned me the nickname “Justin Bieber” because, as you might have guessed, it looked exactly like the iconic style so many teenagers had between 2009 and 2014. The problem? I was a girl, and while many women can pull off a pixie cut, it just didn’t work for me.
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Sometimes I just grimace when I think back to that short hair phase, but I also try to be kind and self-accepting about it. If you can’t experiment wildly with your appearance in your teenage years, when can you? I think these embarrassing experiences humble you and help develop your character and sense of humor.
Followers of the Blunder Years subreddit—one of the largest Reddit communities with nearly a million members—would probably agree with me. They’re all about embracing their former selves.
As the group puts it, the photos shared here must be truly embarrassing. “Simply being nerdy just isn’t enough. If you wore your ‘nerd glasses’ because you thought you were so hipster, that’s not a good enough blunder.” And Reddit users deliver, featuring everything from painfully garish ’80s outfits to intense emo and goth phases to every questionable trend of the early 2000s. It really does feel like flipping through an archive.
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Of course, it is not always easy to leave the unpleasant moments we experienced in our childhood behind us. To find out why these memories remain and how we can overcome them, Bored Panda spoke to Dr. Charlotte Russell, a clinical psychologist and founder of the blog “The Travel Psychologist”.
Our tendency to despise ourselves often stems from being sensitive to how others perceive us. “Humans are social creatures and our social relationships are important to us,” says Russell. “This can mean that we fear or worry about things that others might judge us for – whether it’s getting a bad haircut or following a trend we later regret.”
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“It’s important for each of us to learn that we’re not perfect. We all make mistakes and do things that we’re embarrassed about at some point,” encourages Russell. During our teenage years in particular, we’re often trying to understand ourselves better, which can lead to unusual choices. “When we’re young, we’re particularly focused on figuring out who we are, so we experiment with different things to see what fits,” she explains.
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“During adolescence, people typically go through phases of trying out different identities,” adds Russell. “Inevitably, this means that later on we look back and feel a little uncomfortable with decisions and things that we now consider questionable. But this is all part of being human and our personal history, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.”
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Science accepts these difficult periods. Researchers believe that everything you went through as a child or teenager – from acne and growth spurts to bad fashion choices – made you stronger.
“There are actually genes for resilience that you can turn on and off,” says Joyce Mikal-Flynn, who teaches a course on neuroscience and post-traumatic growth at Sacramento State University. Adolescence, she explains, is the perfect time for these genes to kick into action. “It has to start early and often.”
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Studies suggest that resilience is shaped by various adaptive changes in the brain’s neural circuits. Scientists have not identified a specific resilience gene, but one that is associated with a lack of Resilience – the NR3C1 gene, which influences how people respond to cortisol.
People with a certain variant of this gene are more likely not to seek help after a traumatic event for problems such as substance abuse, aggression, and antisocial personality disorder.
However, unlike severe childhood trauma, these difficult teenage phases offer children a more manageable opportunity to build resilience over time, says Mikal-Flynn.
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Interestingly, these stages of puberty couldn’t come at a better time. While it may seem counterintuitive given the changes teenagers’ bodies are going through, these experiences are actually beneficial for brain development.
Adults have a fully developed frontal lobe that controls many skills, including thinking, movement, and memory. It also plays a key role in social skills, helping us understand how to communicate, behave, and interact with others.
Because frontal lobe development is complete in our twenties, the adolescent brain is still developing. When teens recall socially traumatic experiences, they activate these brain regions, which helps bridge the gap between a child’s impulsive mind and an adult’s rational thinking. While trauma from appearance bullying can have negative psychological effects, with the right support from parents and friends, these challenges can become less of a burden and more of a stepping stone toward maturity.
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One way parents can support their teens, Mikal-Flynn says, is to acknowledge their problems, but also remind them that it’s how they respond to difficult situations that really shapes them, not the difficulties themselves.
“Parents don’t want their children to be in pain, and I understand that, but there’s another way to deal with it: You can either make them suffer all the time or not let them suffer at all,” Mikal-Flynn adds. “There’s a middle ground.”
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If as an adult you find that embarrassing moments from your childhood still haunt you, Russell suggests that sharing them with others can help you move on. You don’t have to do it publicly or on Reddit. “Start by sharing these kinds of experiences with people you trust,” she advises. “They’ll likely remember something similar, and you can discuss these experiences with humor.”
These moments can also reveal the quality of your friendships. “If you tell someone something and they laugh at you rather than with you, that might be a sign to reconsider that friendship,” notes Russell.
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