“This book is the entire subtext of my entire career as a beauty editor that I couldn’t publish or say because it somehow undermines my career,” says Sable Yong, a longtime beauty veteran who previously held positions as a beauty editor at Lure And XoVainBut now she’s lifting the veil on an industry that offers freedom and self-expression but enforces ideals that are increasingly unattainable. “Vanity is an innate animal behavior, just as monkeys and birds groom each other. We do it for our health, but humans take it to the point of obsession.”
In her first collection of essays Die hot and with all your might, Yong explores the beauty industrial complex and reflects on her ever-evolving relationship with beauty and self-image. From analyzing our fixation on wellness to the rise of tweaks (and how they can go wrong), Yong takes a critical look at the industry while still trying to make room for the joy beauty can provide.
“We have a lot of critical analysis that generally focuses on how beauty is oppressive – many of the titles are like ‘How Beauty Harms Women’ and it portrays beauty as harmful to women and also tells us how inevitable beauty is,” says Yong. “Or it gives instructions on how to get hotter. I hope this book finds a middle ground.”
The book delves deep into the reality of working as a beauty editor. On the one hand, it’s a very privileged role that “people would die for,” but on the other, it’s a role that’s heavily romanticized. How did you deal with these nuances when writing?
Zobel Yong: Many of my colleagues complain about their work, just like everyone else complains about their work. But they all add one caveat:I am so grateful, I am so lucky, I feel so privileged to be able to do this.and that’s true. However, and this is what I’ve heard from the inside, these privileges, which are pretty unique to this position, are offered as an incentive not to pay us or not to give us raises and basically burn people out. Then in the office they say, “We let you do this amazing press trip, so now you have to double up on these projects that you don’t want to do and that don’t make sense.” That’s not how you should run a company.
I didn’t do that many press trips (when I was at Lure). Press trips have boomed in recent years, but I remember thinking, “So, I get all these products, I get all these treatments for free, and I got to stay in these five-star hotels for free.”. It’s a gilded cage situation that keeps you in your job, but then you realize you’re living paycheck to paycheck and that’s not sustainable.
In the book, vanity is a double-edged sword, oscillating between “self-care” and “self-mutilation.” Could you talk a bit more about this binary, how it nourishes us and disgusts us at the same time?
Zobel Yong: Vanity – it is an innate animal behavior. We do it for our health, but we humans take it to the point of obsession. We now have clinical words to describe excessive grooming, like Dermatillomania when people pluck their eyebrows and eyelashes due to anxious behavior.
Everyone is encouraged to have a beauty routine and to “beautify” themselves, but you have to keep it a secret. No one wants to know how you do it, everyone just wants to see the result. In the meritocratic society we live in, beauty – or rather vanity – is the one thing where merit is undermined by the effort it takes to achieve it. You are expected to be beautiful because vanity and grooming have the result, but the path to achieving it still carries a stigma.
You have this interesting passage about people’s obsession with undetectable optimization, but then we look at shows like Botched with joy. In the book you talk about how when a husband kills his wife, people often respond, “Why did she marry him?” Why do you think we focus on the individual?
Zobel Yong: It is such a psychology that fascinates and disgusts me. For shows like BotchedThere is this idea of ”being too close to the sun”. We are attracted to it because we want to fulfill all our vainest wishes and desires.
The concept of wellness and beauty optimization is omnipresent. Where do you think this self-optimization of beauty and wellness is heading?
Zobel Yong: Phew! I believe it will only get more intense. I feel like it is also a reflection of the chaos and uncertainty in our world and the fact that we are constantly inundated. Beauty and anything to do with the self is a form of self-armoring and self-protection. Beauty is a form of control. If we can’t control the world, we can control our place in it. Beauty is the first thing we reach for when we are in emotional turmoil or emotional distress and uncertainty. It is the pursuit of comfort through control.
What do you think about the fact that beauty programs are becoming more and more specific?
Zobel Yong: It’s wild. I can’t keep up. TikTok’s virality algorithm is so much more extreme than Instagram’s, and when people go viral for something small that they didn’t think would catch on, it really encourages people to keep doing that because of the attention metrics. A lot of K-beauty products have niche (trends) like “cherry lips” or “Douyin eye makeup,” and beauty TikTok creators… that’s their bread and butter. They just try stuff.
It’s also partly the media’s fault, because the media now has to report on social media to stay relevant. Lure If we were to write about these crazy eyebrow trends we see on Instagram, it would double the legitimacy of these trends for readers. When they see something that The times or covered with fashion or Lure they say, “Oh, people really do that.” No! It’s just a person who wrote this tiny new clip about it to generate traffic hits. It’s literally just chasing traffic – looking for clicks. It has this damaging effect that is reckless.
“Beauty is the first thing we reach for when we are in emotional turmoil or emotional distress and uncertainty. It is the pursuit of comfort through control” – Sable Yong
Which beauty and wellness desires are an absolute must for you?
Zobel Yong: I never feel guilty about wanting to. I love going to Korean bathhouses—it’s my thing. If you go to the serious ones, not the ones that adhere to mainstream beauty, you’re stark naked. So if you go with friends, they should be friends you’re comfortable with because you’re going to be completely naked. It’s such a bonding experience. When you can (be in your body) in a communal, neutral environment, it’s such an amazing reset button because you’re seeing real people’s bodies in a neutral context that’s not performed or sexualized.
Do you think we want revenge on each other because beauty is easier to control?
Zobel Yong: Women, especially those with revenge bods, are always told, both explicitly and implicitly, throughout their childhood that our most important asset is our appearance. We are rewarded when we do good work and other people like the way we look. And when they don’t, we are invisible and ignored.
Beauty and love are closely linked. So when you have the special wound of heartbreak and rejection, the first thing you naturally think is, “If I were more beautiful, this wouldn’t have happened to me?” Or, “If I become more beautiful, maybe I could win her back.” or gain the attention of a new person. It is our way of regaining our self-esteem. I am not saying that you should remain in self-hatred, It’s good to do things that make you feel better about yourself. It’s very effective when you ‘lighten up’ a little and someone tells you that you’re nice. That has a very positive influence on you. But at the same time, you have to be clear that that’s not the most important value.
If you could learn one thing from the book, what would it be?
Zobel Yong: I want people to redefine what beauty means to them and think about it instead of doing what they think beauty is. Even if that means completely stripping back, do it. I have conversations with other women and they say things like, “Oh, I can’t eat that, I’m going to explode,” or “I think it’s time for Botox.” Sometimes I want to shake people and tell them they don’t have to do that, just decide for yourself what beauty is and approach it that way.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, we all try to die with this “revenge” for someone or something or society. Do you think we all strive for this involuntarily?
Zobel Yong: I think most people aspire to a good life. That’s what most people can hope for themselves. Whether or not you feel like you’re living a good life is often based on things that are outside of your control and that you had no part in deciding. A lot of that has to do with appearance politics and discrimination based on appearance. But if you can analyze those things and detach yourself from their judgments and decide who you are outside of context and on your own terms, then I think that’s very, very hot behavior.
