On Tuesday, Meta’s CEO unveiled a gift he gave to his college sweetheart and wife of 12 years, Priscilla Chan: a 7-foot-tall sculpture of her.
“Reviving the Roman tradition of making sculptures of one’s wife,” Zuckerberg joked in the caption of an Instagram post showing Chan sipping from a cup and posing next to the massive turquoise and silver statue.
Since the couple’s wedding anniversary is in May and Chan’s birthday is in February, the gift does not seem to be occasion-related.
Commenters on the Instagram post seem divided on whether the gesture — the work of New York-based contemporary artist Daniel Arsham — is cute or embarrassing.
But Isabelle Morley, a Massachusetts-based clinical psychologist who specializes in couples therapy, told Business Insider that such a generous gift could be a warning sign.
Here’s why.
When it comes to extravagant gifts, context is crucial
Morley said right at the start that expensive gifts may not carry the same weight among the super-rich.
Arsham’s works are traded for over $29,000 on some online marketplaces. According to Forbes, Zuckerberg’s net worth was over $169 billion as of August 15.
But no matter how big the giver’s bank account is, Morley always likes to ask: “What was the purpose of this gift?”
For those who come from less affluent backgrounds and have worked hard to be financially stable, an extravagant gift could be a way to show their progress without expecting much in return, Morley said.
“It recognizes what they have worked for and what they have built and is a way to show that and care for someone they love,” she said.
Chan and Zuckerberg run a philanthropic foundation and also attend many events together. Cooper Neill/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images
However, Morley added, extravagant gifts can sometimes be an attempt to manipulate the recipient or elicit a certain reaction from them.
“Some people use these gifts as reparation for bad or even abusive behavior. I am not saying that the statue represents such a gift, but one must always be aware of it,” she added.
According to Morley, anyone receiving a large gift should ask themselves some important questions: Is it for an anniversary? Are there certain expectations about how to respond?
“Was that, ‘I did something wrong and I’m going to make it up to you by giving you something shiny so you’ll forget it?'” she added.
In Zuckerberg’s case, Morley said, the biggest warning sign would be “if he commissioned this and spent God knows how much money and expected a certain reaction or response.”
Sharing such a generous gift on social media is another possible warning sign
Some people in a relationship are quick to post and praise their partner online, Morley says.
Zuckerberg posted a photo of the statue on Instagram, where he has 14.5 million followers – making the gift accessible to a wider audience.
Morley wonders why.
“Was it really just to show his deep love and gratitude for her and who she is and who she has been in his life?” Morley said. “Or was it to make him look good in the eyes of others and to get some loving response from her.”
Morley said she is particularly alert to couples who “feel the need to publicly display this kind of affection” on tightly curated social media platforms. She cited some studies she has read that suggest such displays may be an indication that the couples are less happy in real life.
“Was it a huge statue because Mark really wanted a huge statue? Or was it because Priscilla said, ‘You know what? I love art. I would like a gigantic piece inspired by Roman architecture,'” Morley said.
Whether the gift is sweet or embarrassing, the only person whose opinion matters is Chan, Morley said.
It seems as if the statue has received Chan’s seal of approval.
She commented on Zuckerberg’s post, “The more of me the merrier?” with a red heart emoji, to which her husband replied with another red heart emoji, “Always.”
“If she thinks it’s cute, it’s cute,” Morley said.
