Losing a pet is hard for anyone, and it can be especially bad if your neighbor takes advantage of the loss for her own ends.
That’s the gist of this story from Reddit, in which a grieving dog dad takes revenge with a little ingenuity and a lot of noise.
Okay, here’s the full story of how I got revenge on my dog-hating neighbor Carol.
In 2007, I moved into this condo on Bayshore Boulevard in Tampa.
It’s a pretty fancy area and I got a two-bedroom apartment at a great price that needed some TLC, which I decided to tackle with the help of my stepdad.
It’s a dog-friendly area…well, for some dogs.
Now the building was mostly filled with retirees and their small dogs.
But I had two big-hearted Golden Retrievers named Harry and Blakely.
Before I could even get into the place, I had to go through all the hassle of dealing with the homeowners association, and that’s where Carol came in.
Carol’s description is *Chef’s Kiss*.
The embodiment of misery with a hairpiece so bad it should have just come with a chin strap and a permanent scowl that looked like a cross between a largemouth bass and a Golden Girl.
That was Carol.
From the beginning, she had her sights set on my dogs, even though they were already old hands at 15 and 13.
Despite their efforts, I moved in.
We kept to ourselves, but when Harry died, Carol said something that really pissed me off. When I got there, the bylaws didn’t mention dog size, but that changed after I got there and as a board member, her official comment later was, “Now we’ll just wait until the other one dies and then my nightmare will be over.”
What a terrible statement! So the author begins to plan his revenge.
It was just cold. And I knew the only thing she loved was a limo with hubcaps that you could easily remove. Everyone in the building had their own parking space, so I knew exactly where she would be.
One morning, early before I left for work, I grabbed a bunch of stuff – nuts, bolts, whatever – and went to Carol’s car to the interior of the hubcap, which was sealed when the hubcap was put back on.
A creative revenge that he continued to keep her on her toes.
I took off one of her hubcaps, threw in a handful of scrap metal, and put the hubcap back on.
Now when Carol drove, it sounded like her car was dragging toasters under every corner, and the noise got angrier the faster she went.
I did this for about six weeks, changing the wheels and contents so the sounds were different. By the time she got to a mechanic, she had a whole list of different sounds to describe, not realizing that it was all because of her neighbor’s petty revenge plot.
And this all happened before many people had doorbell cameras, so he got away with it.
Back then, not everyone had a camera on their phone to capture every little detail, so all she could do was exchange her word for the mysterious car noises.
But I hope that even though she spent at least a few hundred dollars on a car diagnostic at least once, she injured herself at least once trying to explain it to the mechanic, who probably had a blast at the eventual discovery.
So fuck off, Carol. I hope you suffered financially, emotionally and forever for disrespecting my Harry.
Reddit is a pretty dog-friendly place, so you can be sure that a lot of people are on the side of the author and his good boy Harry. But let’s take a look at the comments just to be sure.
The top comment is: If you’ve seen one Florida Carol, you’ve seen them all.
Another notes that a barking dog is much less disturbing than most neighborhood noises.
One commenter asks whether the author’s dogs are worse than the barking dogs of many other residents.
This commenter asks: “Will Carol be invited to cross the rainbow bridge?”
It sounds like Carol was on the wrong track and ended up with more noise than she bargained for!
