James 1:19-20 Understand this, my beloved, that each of you be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for your anger does not produce the righteousness of God.
Child: “Knock, knock”
Adult: “Who’s there?”
Child: “Interrupting cow.”
Adult: “Inter…” Child: “Mooo.”
Kids find this joke hilarious. Adults find it funny the first time they hear it, but maybe not by the tenth time. This is probably because none of us likes to be interrupted and it’s becoming far too common and acceptable for people to rudely interrupt each other.
It’s hard enough to process some of the conversations I hear today without ten people trying to talk at once. I should be used to it, I grew up with eight siblings and we all vied for attention. I also grew up listening to the conversations of my mother’s large family, which never made sense because they consisted of sixteen people and everyone was talking at the same time. Amazingly, they seemed to be able to have multiple conversations at once, but I’m not sure how meaningful those conversations could have been.
I also try to be able to concentrate on several conversations at once, but the older I get, the harder that becomes. These days, I would prefer that people heed James’ advice: “Listen fast and speak slow.” There will be time to say what we all need to say, and if it’s really important, we won’t forget it (I think that’s why some people are so quick to add their two cents as soon as something pops into their head).
But James gave another very good piece of advice here – don’t get angry so easily. Have you ever noticed how much more often people interrupt each other during an argument? When we are angry, we talk fast and don’t listen – we misunderstand everything.
What James could have added is this practical advice I have heard so many times: “count to ten” or “take a deep breath” or even “take the time to write down what you want to say, read it, read it again, and then consider if it is worth saying.” How different our conversations could be if we practiced listening quickly (and carefully), responding slowly and carefully, taking deep breaths before arguing, and finding ways to prevent the ugliness of anger from ruining not just a conversation but a relationship.
