Airplane passenger says woman asked him to change seats to avoid screaming baby, then called him ‘rude’ for saying no

The controversial incident happened nearly five hours into a long-haul flight, according to the man. Here’s what should have happened, according to a travel expert

An airline passenger claims he was called “incredibly rude” by a fellow passenger because he refused to change his seat several hours after the start of an international flight.

The man shared in a post on the r/AmItheA–hole (AITA) subreddit that he and his wife had been assigned a middle and window seat on a return flight from Dublin to Washington, DC at the time of the incident. The original poster (OP) says he switched to the aisle seat because it was free while his wife remained by the window, and the couple placed their personal belongings in the middle.

While “nothing special” happened during the first four and a half hours of the flight, this soon changed.

“By accident, the passenger in the aisle seat across from me comes over with her friend sitting a few rows back and announces that her friend is now taking the middle seat to escape a crying baby further back,” he wrote. “She didn’t ask – she told us this was happening.”

Since there were still about three hours of flight time left, the OP decided to ask a flight attendant about the situation.

“The (flight attendant) said the agreement was that they could take an empty aisle seat but not disturb anyone’s seating arrangement,” he wrote. “Then the woman started complaining that I had been assigned the middle seat but was moved to the aisle before takeoff, so I shouldn’t have that aisle seat.”

According to OP, the two friends then left the area to speak with another flight attendant for about five minutes.

“Then the woman across the aisle comes back to her seat and yells at me that ‘her friend isn’t sitting there – not because she’s not allowed to, but because I was so incredibly rude’ and that I’m a ‘fucking asshole,'” he wrote, noting, “I continued paying attention to the show I was watching.”

The OP added, “The only thing I did the entire time was ask to speak to the flight attendant. Other than that, I didn’t say anything to that woman, even though I would have liked to.”

Related: Mother says fellow passenger freaked out when she and baby were offered a seat with more space

Many replies on Reddit said he had the right to seek help from a flight attendant.

“Flight attendants need to know where they have moved people in case of an emergency,” said one comment. “It’s one thing to move a seat, but quite another to completely switch rows and seats. That’s what they need to know. It’s part of being able to identify passengers in emergency situations.”

Another commenter noted, “That seat was not assigned to either of them. In this case, he claimed it first, so he should have priority over the woman.”

Someone else called the two friends “arrogant and rude” for approaching a second flight attendant, arguing that the second flight attendant “had to refuse” their request.

However, another Reddit user took issue with the OP’s claim regarding all three seats in his row.

“I agree with the unpopular opinion here,” they wrote. “You paid for 2 seats, not 3. You didn’t ask the flight attendant because you wanted to ‘check the rules.’ You asked because you didn’t want to lose your seat and hoped the flight attendant wouldn’t allow her to move. You were assigned a middle seat. So according to the flight attendant, the woman could have sat in the aisle seat after you moved to your originally assigned middle seat.”

PEOPLE asked travel expert, author and consultant Nicole Campoy Jackson of Fora Travel to comment on the incident.

Related: Woman upgrades to business class, leaves ex and son in economy class after splitting up on trip

Jackson says asking the flight attendant for advice was the right move.

“I’m always in favor of calling in a flight attendant in case of tricky situations during the flight,” she explains. “When we travel, it can always be very tense, and they would know, for example, if there is another aisle seat or another solution to this problem. They have more background knowledge than we passengers.”

Jackson also addressed whether he could have been expected to move during the flight.

“Unlike taking care of someone on the ground when you are already more than halfway through the flight and Then asked to move? That’s disruptive,” she says. “I understand why he would have resisted the idea.”

Jackson says it is difficult to determine whether either party has a “claim” to the seat it wants.

“He has been sitting in an unoccupied seat for hours. Can he stay there now? The fact that he has been assigned the middle seat means, in the truest sense of the word, that he not entitled to the free aisle next to him,” she says. “The other passenger also has no right justified to move due to an inconvenience at their seat.”

“When changing seats, it’s always about flexibility, understanding and kindness towards our fellow passengers,” Jackson continues. “That starts with the question, by the way. Of course, it also comes down to what is possible within the airline’s rules, how safe it is, where everyone has to be at a certain time, and what they have paid for.”

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Jackson says the approach of the woman across the aisle, as described in the post, “set things in motion in a pretty unpleasant way.”

“The best way to handle this situation would have been to go to the man and explain, ‘I had a difficult flight because of the baby next to me. I know this aisle seat was free before departure. Would it be okay if I stayed here for the rest of the flight?'” she advises.

“If you had asked them a question and briefly explained why they wanted to move, I think the whole thing would have turned out differently,” Jackson adds.

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