Dear Eric: If someone keeps getting party invitations from someone they’d rather not have anything to do with, and occasionally accepts the invitation because they’ve run out of excuses, is they obligated to respond if they really don’t want to? Should they just decline without giving a reason?
— Don’t want to be a guest
Dear Guest, one of my favorite excuses for not doing something is “I’d rather not,” Bartleby the Scribe style. You don’t have to share this with the host of the party, of course. But “no, thank you” is a complete sentence.
You may want to have a conversation about your relationship, especially if you don’t want to be around her. But if it causes more trouble than it’s worth, just decline.
Dear Eric: Caught in Feelings (July 24) wrote about seeking intimacy outside of her marriage, and her solution was to suggest an open marriage. Asking for an open marriage first is dodging responsibility and denying reality, which would be no better for Caught than it would be for her husband.
Honestly, it sounds like neither of them is really interested and an “open marriage” would probably only lead to an even more bitter divorce.
— Closed honesty
Dear Closed, Several readers have pointed out that although Caught’s husband did not want to file for divorce, his decision was not his alone.
If the author of a letter rejects an option outright, I do not return to it because it seems unproductive to me.
However, many of you were right: “Caught,” if you want a divorce, get your finances in order, consult a lawyer, and file for divorce. If you want to stay married, the original advice applies.
Dear readers, on July 14, a letter writer expressed concern about a persistent cough. Dozens of letters poured in with stories of similar situations. Although the letter writer did not ask for a medical diagnosis or advice, the reaction was so strong that I wanted to share some suggested causes and home remedies. This is not medical advice. If you have a medical problem, please see a doctor.
Some readers found that their cough was caused by: sensory laryngeal neuropathy, blood pressure medications, particularly an ACE inhibitor, bronchiectasis and Mycobacteria Avium Complex, a bacterial infection called Helicobacter Pylori (or H. Pylori), acid reflux, a hiatal hernia.
And to find relief, they turned to: Coca-Cola; visiting a singing teacher; chewing marshmallows; a speech therapist; the Bastian Voice Institute in Downers Grove, Illinois.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
© 2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
