For some daughters and sons, celebrating Mother’s Day when their mother is no longer alive can be difficult. It can even be sad. Today I suggest a creative way to honor mom by remembering her life story.
My mother, Virginia K. Walker, passed away on October 19, 2000, but she is with me in my heart every day, so when Mother’s Day comes around each year, I dutifully post a message with her beautiful photo on social media and click “like” and respond to every comment posted.
It’s just not enough, you know?
This year a friend suggested something different.
What if we met this year and told each other our mothers’ stories?
Northland resident Mischelle Saunders-Gottsch is, like me, a podcaster and storyteller.
“How many women do we know whose mothers are in heaven and who feel lonely on Mother’s Day?” Saunders-Gottsch asked me. “I can tell you about my mother and you can tell me about yours.”
Her suggestion fits perfectly with her podcast, the Altered Stories Show, which tells stories of women from all over the world.
What an incredible idea. Our mothers have wonderful stories and of course we should tell them!
So on Saturday afternoon we went to a teahouse in downtown Kansas City and ordered our favorite juices. We sat there, drinking from fancy cups, eating little pastries and talking about our mothers. It just felt right for us women, but I know it’s a great idea for sons too.
It was wonderful. Can you imagine remembering your mother’s story? Not just her illness, her death or how much you miss her, but her Story.
“It can be a really difficult time for some people,” Saunders-Gottsch said. “I have a daughter and a granddaughter, but it’s still sad not having my mom.”
As I paused to remember what I had learned firsthand and what my family members had told me about my mother, I couldn’t help but smile. I want to encourage you to take a moment and do the same today.
Virginia Walker was an enterprising woman. She moved from Chicago to Anchorage, Alaska in the 1950s, where she married my father, Bill, and together they ran a supper club. Both she and my father were good cooks, and although I don’t have a menu from that club, I know the food there was delicious.
My mother, an incredible beauty, was a model in Alaska. I have a photo of her in the club, furs draped around her shoulders, posing better than Tyra Banks.
My mother was an entrepreneur. She returned to Chicago and opened a restaurant with my father on Chicago’s South Side that was named after her. Virginia’s was famous for its corned beef dinners and daily specials. She and Daddy were also known for feeding the poor and homeless who passed by. Maybe that’s why they never made any money. But this place was full of heart.
My mother improved. She only made it to high school, but while working as a nursing assistant in Chicago, she entered a program to become a registered nurse. She worked primarily in hospitals, but toward the end of her career she also worked in the homes for the terminally ill.
She cared for patients at the end of their lives and was a true blessing to them. I never wanted to be a nurse (I couldn’t stand the blood), but she taught me that death is a part of life and not to be feared.
My mother was the wife of a loving man who also had his flaws, the daughter of a woman who didn’t always show as much love as she deserved, and a patient sister to her little brother.
After all, my mother was a mother and raised two girls in Chicago. One became a nurse like her and the other a journalist.
Talking about her this way and sharing her story made 2024 one of the most beautiful Mother’s Days I’ve had in a long time – at least since I lost her.
You can do that too. Get together with your family, your siblings, your friends. Sit down and tell your mothers’ stories over a cup of tea or even a cocktail if you prefer.
And don’t wait to celebrate her story while your mother is still alive.
Happy Mothers’s Day.
