Whether it’s a past trauma, a nostalgic memory of times gone by, or simply a lonely day of forced celebration, birthdays can be tough. But reframing the day and reclaiming it can truly change your life.
That’s exactly what 69-year-old Megan Vered did as she approached her 70th birthday. She reflected on the shortcomings of the past few years, accepted the reality of aging, and made a plan to move forward in her pursuit of personal fulfillment and happiness.
The woman, now 70 years old, sent a mass email to all her loved ones for her birthday and asked for a special wish instead of gifts.
“I felt motivated to do something meaningful,” she wrote. “Something personal. My goal was to do something that would avoid the stress of putting together a guest list and the stress of planning and hosting a party.”
Instead of sending her friends and family invitations or a list of birthday gifts they wanted, Vered wrote an email and asked them to help her create the most perfect and fulfilling 70th year on earth.
“Dear person I love,” her email began, “I just turned 69 and am thinking about the big number looming on the horizon. To honor that big number, I want to have 70 experiences with the people I love in 2023.”
“My goal is to say yes to anything you suggest,” she continued, “no matter how big or small. From a cup of coffee to a trip to a national park… But please, no thrill-seeking. No roller coasters or bungee jumping. And nothing that involves a shark tank.”
“I look forward to accepting your proposal, to a calendar full of once-in-a-lifetime events and to enjoying unforgettable moments with you to the fullest,” she concluded her email.
Instead of birthday presents, she asked her friends and family to suggest 70 experiences for the year.
“Her job: to propose. My job: to say yes,” Vered told HuffPost in her personal essay. Instead of asking for birthday gifts, usually material things she uses once or twice, she asked for a year full of fulfilling experiences with her friends and family.
She resolved to organize about six social events a month, incorporating coffee dates, art fairs, and other fun times into her schedule.
“My year was packed to the brim,” she admitted. “I deliberately made time to have fun… To my surprise, most of the experiences at the top were within driving distance of my home, didn’t bankrupt me, and most importantly, with each experience I learned something about myself and created a memory.”
In addition to her plans, Vered also kept a diary in which she described her experiences with friends while also describing the “fulfilling personal happiness” she hoped to achieve from her next trip around the sun.
TeodorLazarev | Shutterstock
She hopes that readers of all ages will be encouraged to adopt this tradition rather than having an isolated, consumerist view of birthday celebrations.
“The process was a no-brainer: 1) Count the days you’ve been on this planet. 2) Compose an email with the intention of expanding your comfort zone, even just a little bit. 3) Send it to your people,” she said.
If you are looking for fulfillment (with less frequent social events), you could plan a year full of “DIY” experiences.
Those who don’t have that many friends (Vered’s circle of friends lasted 70 years, after all) may want to consider an alternative, more personal approach to making your year fulfilling and enjoyable.
“Set your bar to match your milestone and then the fun can begin,” Vered suggested. “Create a certain number of ethnic dishes, learn songs in other languages, recite poems by your favorite poet, or climb mountains you’ve never climbed before. Use your birthday to flip through life’s continuing education catalog.”
Not everything has to be a social endeavor. You can dedicate the year to personal fulfillment, alone time, and developing your unique identity.
Although birthdays can be a brief celebration of life – with lots of gifts, parties and a day of bonding – they are also a chance to start over, set new goals and change your mindset.
Content creator and author Eli Rallo shared that she transformed her birthday into “her own personal New Year’s Day.”
“This is the day I arrived on this earth,” she said. “Every year it’s a really good check-in with my goals… To realign them and rethink what I want to do differently next year; to decide what my intentions are. It’s a beautiful metaphorical thing.”
For some, this might mean developing new habits; for others, like Vered, it might mean making a conscious effort to set aside time for experiences. Both can be very beneficial.
“Having crossed the threshold of 70, I feel fulfilled,” Vered said honestly, “not in a cake-and-ice-cream kind of way, but filled with memories of a year well spent… although I may be slowing down with age, neither my shine nor my friendships have faded.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango, focusing on health and wellbeing, social policy and human stories.
