The following is an excerpt from “Moms Eat First: 5 Principles to Put Yourself First and Create the Change You Crave” by I’m Kathy Sullivan.
About the book: When was the last time you put yourself first – not just for an hour or two, but when did you really put yourself and what’s important to you first? I suspect your answer to that question left you feeling a little uncomfortable; maybe even guilty. Moms often put the needs of others before their own and “serve” everyone else around them. But if done too often over a long period of time, constantly serving the needs of others can lead to high levels of stress, burnout, and resentment.
Do mothers have to choose between being a “good mom” and achieving their own goals? How do you cut through the chaos, see what’s important, and let go of things that aren’t serving you well? In Moms Eat First, author Kathy Sullivan explores five key principles for creating and sustaining change and offers possible solutions to overcome obstacles.
From close friends, business associates, clients, research, conversations with neighbors, and my own experiences, I’ve learned that moms take on too much. I hear it almost every day, not always in the form of complaints, but simply in the daily downloads of Mom’s Life.
The reasons for this vary: maybe there is a personality type that is sensitive to the needs of others and wants to be liked by everyone. Maybe there is a need to control everything and prefer to do it yourself so that it is done “right”. Or maybe, just maybe, it is due to the acceptance of the role that society has imposed on mothers, which is to be everything to everyone, and now this has become the norm.
This may be true for some of you. The result is that the people around you are used to the way you do things. Whenever you deviate from the rules, people get annoyed and you fall back into old habits.
The COVID-19 pandemic has exacerbated the challenges many women were already facing. Childcare responsibilities for many families, especially mothers, were a big part of this. Research has shown that mothers are more likely to bear the additional “burden” of homeschooling their children as well as other household responsibilities.
Many mothers had to do all this while working full-time. Some simply could not maintain their jobs because of childcare issues, which made the existing system even more difficult, and so they gave up their jobs.
Your role as a mother certainly requires you to care for others and make sacrifices. But when you pile that responsibility on top of your other responsibilities: paid work, partnership, caring for aging parents, and the burden that more often falls on mothers, it can feel like there is nothing left of you for You.
If that sounds like you, I encourage you to read on. You don’t have to be stuck in the proverbial hamster wheel every day. There is a way through the chaos, and this book provides you with a framework to begin that process. The rest, my dear friends, is up to you!
Are you ready to rise up?
© 2024 Kathy Sullivan. All rights reserved. This excerpt is from Moms Eat First: 5 Principles to Prioritize Yourself and Create the Change You Crave, published by Performance Publishing.
Kathy Sullivan is the owner of Talent Principles, an executive coaching and organizational development consulting firm. She is a certified trainer, change agent, author, and keynote speaker. Kathy helps clients create the change they want to see in their lives. Kathy is a single mother of two children and a Great Dane and lives outside of Cleveland, Ohio. Her life’s purpose is to support the development of others and to empower women in the workplace – especially working mothers who face unique challenges. In Moms Eat First: 5 Principles to Prioritize Yourself and Create the Change You Crave, Kathy shares success stories on how to gain clarity on what’s important and offers tools to help you align your focus and achieve what you want.
