A ‘push gift’ is a gift given to a new mother by her partner to celebrate the birth and recognise the strength it took to bring her child into the world. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant – more of a meaningful keepsake to recognise the mother’s hard work.
A husband took to Reddit to say he might be the bad guy after changing his mind about the push gift he was trying to buy and causing his wife to cry.
He refused to buy his wife the jewelry she wanted as a “surprise gift” after she lost her job.
In his now-deleted post, he explained that he and his wife Ashley had recently had a baby daughter and that during her pregnancy the two had agreed that he would buy her a specific piece of jewelry with their daughter’s birthstone as a “Christmas present.”
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He found the term a little “cheesy,” but genuinely wanted to do something to honor all that his wife went through to bring their daughter into the world. However, purchasing the push gift took a back seat when he learned that his wife had lost her job.
“The problem is that after that conversation (about the push gift), Ashley lost her job because she punched her boss in an airport, which gave her a black eye and led to criminal charges,” he wrote.
Since then, they have been experiencing stress at home as they now unexpectedly have to live on only one income and care for a newborn.
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In addition, his wife has to appear in court to face assault charges, so he has to take care of the baby’s support and help his wife find work elsewhere.
The issue of the assault has also become a point of contention because his wife firmly believes that she did nothing wrong and was only defending herself after her boss deliberately provoked her. He does not agree with this.
Luckily, the couple had saved enough money to pay their bills, but he didn’t want to spend any money unnecessarily.
“I didn’t buy the gift because it didn’t seem like the right time to spend money on jewelry,” he wrote. “We have a decent amount of savings and I earn a good living, but still.”
His concerns are valid, especially since their financial situation has changed significantly since the push gift was first discussed.
Above all else, the couple should make sure that the bills are paid and that they can provide for their daughter financially.
But here’s the problem. According to the CDC, 10 to 20% of women experience a depressive episode after giving birth. While we can’t say for sure that this new mother is struggling, it’s not impossible and should make the husband a little more understanding of her feelings.
This doesn’t mean he should spend more than he can afford to make her smile, but he could approach the situation differently and offer her alternatives to the original birthstone idea. After all, it’s the thought that counts.
A piece of jewelry can be purchased at any time, and despite his wife’s reaction to his decision not to buy it now, he can still surprise her with it as a Christmas present or as a gift for her next birthday. He could also buy her a less expensive – but equally meaningful – piece of jewelry to mark the occasion.
She argued that she had already been punished enough by losing her career, but that her husband might be making the right decision for her in the long run. It would not be good for them to get into debt over a piece of jewelry.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news and lifestyle writer whose work explores current issues and experiences.
