“Meshane makom, meshane mazal,” teaches the Talmud (“Change your place, change your luck”). Tzachi Haberman agrees. He was 33 and living in Tel Aviv when he decided last summer to “move to Jerusalem to look for a wife” after making aliyah in 2018. On July 1, 2023, he moved into his new apartment, and just two months later, he met Yifat Adler, 31, by chance.
When Tzachi saw Yifat in Jerusalem that Friday morning, September 1, he immediately recognized her from their elementary school days when they had carpooled together to Salanter Akiba Riverdale Academy (SAR) when they lived in Teaneck, New Jersey.
Over 20 years later, they met by chance at a concert sponsored by BaBayit Jerusalem, a grassroots community founded six years ago by olim for olim in Jerusalem between the ages of 20 and 40.
Meeting in BaBayit
Tzachi came to the concert with his roommate Dov, but spent most of his time focused on Yifat, one of the event’s organizers. Wondering how to start a conversation with her, he decided that a question is always a good way to start, and focused on their childhood relationship.
“I couldn’t remember him,” Yifat said.
“I wanted to talk more, but she was busy with the event,” Tzachi said. “I discussed strategy with Dov and finally got her attention on the third try.”
Tzachi invited Yifat for a Shabbat walk and suggested Jerusalem’s Mesila Park, a walking and biking trail in their neighborhood. When she agreed, he offered her his phone number, but she replied, “You take my number.”
“I really liked her and wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. From an early age, I could see a future for us together,” Tzachi said. They were together for about three weeks, “and then she broke up with me,” he said.
Yifat didn’t have time for a relationship at the time, she explained. “I’m a goal-oriented person and I needed time to study for an entrance exam in nutrition and complete some work for my master’s in public health at Tel Aviv University.” Tzachi already had a degree from the Binghamton University School of Management.
When the war broke out on October 7, Tzachi entered Gaza as a lone soldier.
Yifat’s exam was scheduled for October 17, an excuse Tzachi used to text her.
“Her test was postponed, but from a few text messages I concluded that she wasn’t really interested in me. For me, that was the second failure.”
In mid-December, Tzachi got lucky when another unit joined his in Gaza. One of the new soldiers, Matan, was married to Yifat’s sister. One thing led to another, and soon Yifat had heard about the meeting between Tzachi and Matan. On his next vacation, Tzachi texted Yifat.
Yifat didn’t know what she thought of “that guy” and didn’t know what to do. “I finally said to him, ‘Let’s take it slow.’ I didn’t want him to think we were going to get into a serious relationship.” But they did.
Much has been written about the impact of war on personal relationships. Michal Shane, a clinical psychologist in Tel Aviv, noted: “In my practice, I see how the war has caused some young people to turn away from the possibility of finding a partner, while others are more actively pursuing a relationship.”
Tzachi said that when he moved to Israel, he “dreamed of marrying a girl who had family in Israel, because I didn’t have any.” Yifat’s sister was the first in the family to make aliyah in 2015. Yifat followed her in 2017, and her parents followed with their daughters in 2022.
On the Friday before Passover, Tzachi Yifat put a ring on his finger in Fayge Park on Panim Meirot Street in Jerusalem.
“My grandmother’s name was Faige,” Yifat said, smiling.
The couple will marry on September 16 in Ness Ziona. Mazal tov!
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