The Union Review | As exciting as tap water at room temperature

The only word that comes to mind when I try to describe the action comedy The Union is generic. From top to bottom, The Union is a film that is at every turn and is content to use a tried and tested script without ever deviating from the formula or invention. Technically The Union doesn’t do anything wrong and is certainly competent in its basic aims. But the fact that director Julian Farino isn’t attempting anything remotely new or refreshing here makes it difficult to get through. The Union quite tedious unless you leave it on in the background while you do your daily chores. It’s quite pleasant background noise; the definition of mediocrity. Audiences deserve better, but if they come and go without paying much attention, they might think they’ve had a pretty good time doing things that probably required dragging themselves out of bed; a movie you could do your taxes on.

It might work better if you’ve never seen a film of this kind before – one in which old flames come together under extreme circumstances – but even then the viewer will gain nothing lasting from it. Mark Wahlberg plays Mike McKenna, a New Jersey construction worker who tends to move from bed to bed and who, if his junk pickup truck is to be believed, is financially strained. One night, while he’s at a bar with the guys, his high school sweetheart Roxanne Hall (Halle Berry) reappears in his life out of nowhere. They more or less pick up where they left off, but Roxanne has ulterior motives when she returns to Jersey. Roxanne eventually drugs Mike and whisks him away to London (though one wonders if there might have been a better way to get him there).

Roxanne works for the titular corporation, a top-secret American intelligence agency (aren’t they all?) made up of workers who have no special past and can sneak around society undetected. After an operation goes horribly wrong, The Union has to retrieve a briefcase with a hard drive in it (two cliches for the price of one, plus a third containing the identities and personal information of every secret agent or operative) that is currently being auctioned off on the black market. Roxanne wants Mike to pose as a potential buyer, saying it will be a piece of cake. How much do you want to bet that it isn’t? (Don’t take this. You’ll probably win, but the winnings won’t be worth your 105-minute investment.) How about a bet on whether there’s a mole in the department who secretly turns out to be the bad guy? (Hot tip that works for all these types of movies: look for the most valuable member of the cast who seems to be underused despite being featured prominently. That’s your mole. You’re welcome.)

There is nothing in The Union that challenges the viewer or makes them think in some way, which would be fine if there was at least some ingenuity or originality on display. It’s not a bad looking film, but aside from some nice locations, there’s nothing here that would make anyone think this is some kind of visual stunner. The pace is pleasantly brisk, and Farino and writers Joe Barton (The ritual) and David Guggenheim (Safe House, The Christmas Chronicles) don’t make anyone wait too long to get to “the good part” (or maybe I should just say “the stuff,” because no one should get their hopes up here). The always reliable JK Simmons turns in a fine performance here as the leader of the Union, and Berry and Wahlberg can carry this genre piece with aplomb, though their romantic and comedic chemistry is serviceable, not exceptional. It’s fine. There’s nothing fine here. But celebrating this for being just OK is like celebrating a plain rice cake for serving its purpose as a rice cake, or room temperature water for being lukewarm. What is there to celebrate?

The action scenes are also average for this type of movie, except for the last twenty minutes when the heroes travel to Croatia to face off against the villains. There is a really nifty car chase and another great scene where Mike uses his skills as a construction worker to take out some henchmen. If things like this were present throughout the entire episode, The UnionMaybe it would have moved things along a little. But when the most creative action moments come, it’s too little, too late.

With millions of streaming options out there right now, there’s definitely more to do than just watch The Union to kill time. They could do a lot worse. But I’d almost argue that viewers would be better off watching something significantly worse than this. Then they could at least feel some kind of emotional connection to what they’re watching, rather than feeling like they’ve been tricked into staring at a blank slate.

“The Union” is now available to stream on Netflix.