Groom in his sixties and bride in her forties expect their mother to pay for the wedding

An engaged couple expects their family to shell out money for the wedding, even though they have the means to pay for the celebration themselves.

In a recent post on Reddit’s popular Wedding Shaming page, a user explained that the bride, a woman in her 40s, and the groom, a man in his 60s, are expecting the bride’s mother, a retired art teacher who is in financial trouble, to pay for their wedding.

The user points out that both couples are financially successful in their respective careers, speculating that he “must make around $200,000 to $300,000 a year” and the bride “probably makes around $200,000 a year as well, maybe more.”

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They further explained that the bride’s mother lives on a fixed income and therefore “always has to pay attention to her grocery shopping and is stressed about finances.”

Although the mother is “happy to pay for her daughter’s wedding,” the user notes that the couple is older and therefore she should not have asked them to “pay for everything except the rehearsal dinner the night before.” The user also added that they canceled the rehearsal dinner because they speculated to “save money.”

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“They are well grown and have a double income of about 1/3 to 1/2 million a year, yet they are always stressed and complaining about money,” the Reddit account wrote. The post also said the couple had asked the bride’s mother to help them buy a new house, “which she obviously cannot afford.”

The poster explained that the bride’s family “feels like this is wrong considering how much the bride’s mother is struggling.” The user added that they are personally “shocked” that the groom “didn’t just offer to pick up the majority of the bill considering he has a 40-year career and makes a ton of money.”

“I wish them both luck, but I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t right, especially for the much older and wealthier groom,” the user concluded.

Several others immediately agreed with the original poster. “No offense but the mother of the bride needs to show some backbone and say no,” one user wrote.

Another added: “If you get married at 40 or 60, you’ll pay for your own wedding.”

One commenter suggested that the mother could offer to contribute to the costs in a “transparent” way. “If the couple wants a more extravagant celebration, she can pay the rest.”

But the couple had defenders. “Perhaps the bride or groom has debts that you don’t know about?” said one. “If they’re always worrying about money, it doesn’t sound like they’re handling it well. It’s obviously not the mother’s job to pay for the wedding. She doesn’t have to, and if she pays more than she can afford, that’s her fault because she’s OK with it.”

“The bride and groom should have a wedding they can afford,” they said. “This is all a very strange situation.”